The Holidays and Boundaries

Communicating and holding your boundaries during the holidays can feel incredibly complicated. Managing our expectations and ideas about how to spend the holidays, plus balancing work and family, becomes extra tricky as we bring the year to a close and plan for a new one. We have budgets to complete, final sales sprints, and company celebrations for work. At home, we have budgets to stick to, sprints between houses, and multiple celebrations with relatives and friends. It is easy to feel frazzled and pulled every which way, trying to get to all the events and activities. That's why being mindful about how you spend your time is crucial.

These tried-and-true tips will help you make the holidays fun instead of a dysfunctional endurance test. 

1. Spend a few minutes thinking about and writing down how you want the holiday season to feel. For example: Do you want to relax? Do you want to travel or have an adventure? Do you want it to be festive? What special traditions do you want to carve out time for? If you have children, how do you want it to feel for them? 

2. Communicate with your loved ones early about how you want the season to feel and why it is important to you.

3. Think ahead and decide what invitations to accept and which ones to decline. Remember, an invitation isn't an obligation – you don't have to go to everything. Prioritize the events that excite you and avoid those that feel like a requirement, a chore, or simply too much. 

   Just because someone is family does not mean we need to spend time with them. It is okay to decline any invitation, even from family members. Saying no can be hard for many of us, but sometimes, creating boundaries for yourself or your household requires you to make difficult decisions or potentially disappoint people. Often, we sacrifice to make others happy and end up sick, exhausted, short-tempered, and even resentful. That's not a great way to spend the holiday season!  

4. Decide how you feel about gifting during the holidays. You don't have to exchange gifts with everyone. Talking about gifting openly and honestly with family, friends, and co-workers can be truly liberating. 

5. Make routines that help you maintain your sanity a priority, such as daily exercise, meditation, healthy meals, walks, and downtime to recharge. You'll feel better throughout the season, and continuing your good habits into the new year will be less challenging!